❯ Women in Black – Women in Black ( Chapter 1 )

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« Ai Yori Aoshi » is owned by Kou Fumizuki, Hakusensha, Tokyo Pop, and Geneon/Pioneer, NOT me. « Maho Sensei Negima » the Manga is owned by Ken Akamatsu, Kodansha, and in the US, Del Rey, NOT me. I don’t know who owns the video rights. I don’t know who owns « Men in Black, » but it is NOT me.

A soft knock brought Taeko Minazuki, maid for the Aoi Sakuraba household, out of the kitchen and to the front door. Looking through the peephole, she saw two government types standing on the porch, so she opened the door.

« Yes? May I help you? »

The taller of the two government types, a blonde, stepped forward,

« I’m Mister Eef. This is Mister Ehm. we’re investigating a missing persons report. Is this the residence of a Miss Aoi Sakuraba? »

Taeko remembered her boss Miyabi Kagurazaki’s warnings about just giving such information away, so she stepped back and closed the door slightly as a precaution.

« You don’t mind showing me some identification do you? »

Mister Eef reached inside a coat pocket to produce an identification wallet.

« Oh! Pardon my rudeness! Please take a look! »

Taeko looked down at the proffered wallet, and the last thing she remembered before waking up an hour later, sitting in the house’s living room, was a strange, flashing blue light.

« Wha…? How did I get here? Oh no! I must have fallen asleep! I’d better get dinner started! »

Mister Eef helped Mister Ehm, a person with wine colored hair, prop the pretty, buxom maid up on a living room couch, then reached once more into a coat pocket to pull out a small scanning device disguised as a cell phone. As Mister Eef opened the phone and began scanning, Mister Ehm took out a tiny ‘Noisy Cricket’ class pistol and held it up and at the ready.

« Any luck? »

« Yep! She’s an E-Cup! »

Looking down, Mister Ehm saw Mister Eef fondling the unconscious maids bosom. This produced the by now instinctive response of clocking Mister Eef with the Noisy Cricket.

« Will you kindly stop sexually harassing people’s domestic help and please find that fool of a Ferret! »

Rubbing a slightly lumpy noggin, Mister Eef laughed.

« Heh heh! Sorry! Old habit! »

Putting the scanner-phone back in it’s pocket, Mister Eef reached under the couch the maid was sitting on and pulled out by it’s loose nape fur a solid white, dead to the world, Mustela Erminea Espacica.

Grinning maniacally, Mister Ehm stuck the barrel of the Noisy Cricket up against the ferret’s nose.

« Nappy-times over you little freeloader. »

Waking up in a daze, the ferret struggled for a bit, the calmed down quickly when Mister Ehm tried to push the Noisy Cricket into his sinuses.

« Aaack! Thhhop! Not thooo hrrd thellows! »

Mister Ehm didn’t relive the pressure one iota.

« Well now Uzume. If that IS your name. Thought you could hide out in a pet shop! Waiting until someone bought you and helped you escape us, didn’t you? As you can see, we still managed to track you down! »

Uzume gently used one of his tiny paws to push the Noisy Cricket slightly back from his nose.

« Come on fellows! I got a pretty good gig here! I swear I haven’t been causing any trouble! Cut me a break will ya’? »

Mister Eef shook the visibly trembling ferret by it’s neck.

« Don’t lie now! Besides, why should we trust an illegal immigrant like you ferret? Your kind are notorious for your deceptions! »

Uzume slumped a little.

« Okay guys. Maybe I did use just the tinniest little bit of mind control to get them to give me the name I wanted, but that’s it! I swear on my uncle Chyamo! »

Mister Ehm shoved the Noisy Cricket up Uzume’s nose again.

« Wrong answer! That pervin’ ermine is the worst of the lot! You must not know how much trouble he’s caused our agency! Panty larceny! Black Market goods trafficking! Contributing to the delinquency of a minor! The list goes on! »

Uzume brought his paws together in a pleading manner.

« Pleath! I Thwear I havthent done anythiin’ but thhe nammin’ bith! »

Mister Eef looked over at Mister Ehm, received a look of agreement in return, the turned Uzume to look right into his face.

« Would you sign a « Tail-Promise » to behave? »

Uzume nodded, still holding his paws in a pleading manner.

« Yes! Please! I even insist you use that permanent tracer ink! Why would I cause trouble and lose this awesome gig! I mean really! Eight bodacious girls fawning all over me! What ferret in his right mind would ever give that up? »

Mister Ehm nodded to Mister Eef, then put away the Noisy Cricket and left to fetch the appropriate supplies from their agency vehicle.

A short time later, using his own tail as a brush, Uzume finished writing the requested promissory note, then capped the ink block and held out the note to Mister Ehm.

« Is this what you wanted? »

Mister Ehm quickly scanned the writing, noting that on the couch the maid was starting to stir while doing so.

« This will work. Let’s go Mister Eef. »

Mister Eef looked down and shook a pointed finger at Uzume while Mister Ehm placed the tail-written promissory note in a manila file and started to leave.

« Listen here ferret! I believe you, but I still have to warn you not to cause any trouble. ANY TROUBLE! Got it? »

Uzume nodded, watched in strained silence until Mister Eef left and closed the door, then collapsed in a bundle of white fur and gave a sigh of relief.

Stupid Uncle Chyamo! Moron! You almost ruined this heaven of females for me! You perverted idiot!

Sighing, Uzume gathered himself and left to wait by the front door for his favorite Mistress, Miyabi Kagurazaki, just as Taeko finally woke.

« Wha…? How did I get here? Oh no! I must have fallen asleep! I’d better get dinner started! »

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Author’s Notes: « Women in Black » was inspired by a Kou Fumizuki picture of the same name I found on the net. Tina Forester, Mister Eef, and Mayu Miyuki, Mister Ehm, Dressed as « Women in Black. »

« Mustela Erminea » is Latin for ermine. Thus, (sorta,) « Mustela Erminea Espacica » is; « Space Ferret. »

Eight Girls: Aoi, Miyabi, Tina, Mayu, Taeko, Chika, Natsuki, and Chizuru.