Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ What Not To Steal ( Chapter 2 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Yami Yugi= Yami/Pharaoh/Mou Hitori No Boku/ Atemu
Yugi Motou= Aibou/Yugi
Ryou Bakura ( Hikari)= Ryou/Tenshi
Yami Bakura= Bakura/tombrobber
Malik(Marik) Ishtar= Malik/ Koi
Yami Marik= Marik/tombkeeper
Seto Kaiba= Kaiba/Dragon/
Ishizu Ishtar=Ishizu

//Yami to Hikari//
/Hikari to Yami/
**characters thoughts**

(Authors Notes)

« Hi this is Ryou and this fic features me and my Yami Bakura in a TLC Parody of What Not Too Wear. »
« Special guest appearances by Daisuke and Dark from D.N Angel. »
« Features appearances by Pegasus, Yami, Yugi and Kaiba. »
« Dark Sanctuary doesn’t own Yugioh, D.N Angel or TLC from which this fic is based on. »
« Enjoy. »

Ryou’s POV

Today we meet with Greg he’s been working the twilight shift in downtown New York. Greg has been stealing for five years but his excavations for the past two years have been nothing but plain, boring and down right embarrassing. Greg doesn’t know that we’re going to surprise him tonight at what he thinks is a seminar for newly inspired theives to which Greg is the main speaker.

//Ryou I’m ready to teach this light weight a thing or two on thievery but he still won’t be as good as me.//
/Bakura no one’s as good as you well maybe Dark he comes close/ (D.N Angel reference)

At the Convention

« Hi My Name is Greg and I’d like to welcome you to this seminar for all you newbies entering the world of thievery. »
« Well first I’d like to open with a few pointers that have helped me throughout my career. » « Always make sure that you’re well lighted you don’t want to be stumbling in the dark during one of your jobs. »

Greg continued to give the crowd of new thieves the most horrible advice causing Bakura to cringe everyime he heard words come out of Gregs mouth.

« Ryou I can’t take it anymore this has got to stop he’s an embarrassment to thieves everywhere, » Bakura said holding his hand to his head.
« Well I guess it’s time we broke into this convention don’t you think Bakura, » Ryou said as he managed to get from his seat in the car to the back of the stage in what seemed like mere seconds. //Wow 60 seconds that’s a new record for you Tenshi.// /Well I’ve been practicing sneaking into the Kame Game shop and stealing the Pharaoh’s hair gel./ //You know I should be mad at you the Baka Pharaoh called me last night yelling at me for stealing his damn hair gel and it wasn’t even me.// / I promise to make it up to you tonight./

« Ryou let’s stop this misery now, » Bakura said as the two of them walked through the curtain getting a huge roar from the crowd.

« Hi my name is Ryou and this is my Yami the Thief King Bakura, and we’d like to welcome you to What Not To Steal. »

« What in the world is going on here, » Greg asked looking quit stunned.
« Greg your friends called us because frankly you suck at stealing, » Bakura said as the crowd cheered.
« Now Greg we’ve been secretly video taping you for the past two weeks with the help of your friends here Phil,John and Katie. »
« So let’s watch the tape, » Ryou said as he pointed to the huge monitors on the stage.

Bakura’s POV

« Greg what exactly are you going to steal in this scene before us? »
« Well Bakura I ended up stealing a pack of gum, from the candy store. »
« Okay if everyone looks you’ll notice the little girl in the aisle pulling one of the hardest thievery moves known, the too cute to steal move. » « Not everyone can pull this one off it’s almost as powerful as the puppy dog eyes of doom. »
« But if you do notice this little girl has stolen $500.00 worth of candy right in front of the clerk to your one measly pack of gum. »
« What do you think about that Greg? »

« Well Bakura It wasn’t my normal working hours it was in the middle of the day and I needed some gum. »

« Well let’s move on to this next scenario. » « So what was your goal for this particular job, » Ryou asked pointing to the monitors once again.

« Well the plan was too steal that bicycle in the corner of the shop but that didn’t happen, » Greg said a little embarrased. « So what did you end up stealing instead? » « I ended up stealing a bicycle mirror instead, » Greg said sighing.

« Well I think that Ryou and I have seen enough Greg. »
« So have you seen the show before Greg? »
« Yes Bakura I have seen the show before. »
« Well Greg we’ve stolen $5000 in cash to help you in your  » business ».
« The catch is that you have to hand over all your current equipment and work outfits to Ryou and I. »
« You’ll also have to steal by our rules using the equipment we let you purchase and fly to Domino, Japan. »
« I don’t know that’s a lot of equipment Bakura I don’t know if I can part with it. »

Ryou’s POV

« Well let’s hear what the audience has to say about all this. »
« Everyone sitting out there what should Greg do? »


« Go with Bakura and Ryou to Domino, Japan! »
« We love you Ryou! »
« We love you Bakura! »

Ryou’s POV

« Well there you have it Greg what is it going to be? »
//Ryou can I send him to the shadow realm if he doesn’t agree to our rules?//
/No Bakura you can’t send him to the shadow realm now stop pouting./
//You’re evil Hikari.//
/I learned from the best./

« Greg what’s your answer? »

« Ryou, Bakura I’m going to do it. »

« That’s great to hear we’ll see you in Domino Japan! » (Audience cheers)

Scene: In Domino City at the 5 Star Twilight Hotel in front of the 360 mirror.

Greg’s POV

« Well this is the outfit and accessories that I use when I’m performing a job during early daylight hours. »
« It’s bright white with this bright orange reflector vest that matches my bright orange crowbar that I use to pry open windows and doors. »
« I think it’s a really great ensemble any theif would be proud of it. »

Bakura’s POV

« Okay Greg there’s several things wrong with this ensemble. »
« First it’s bright white with an orange reflector vest, maybe if you were going to steal in a snowbank it might work but not during daylight and not where there’s people like in a city. »
//Oh Ra Tenshi can you believe this guy?//
/Bakura we should have Greg move onto the next outfit./

Ryou’s POV

« Greg let’s move onto the next outfit. »

Greg’s POV

« Well this next ensemble is what I use when I’m working during the night. »
« As you can see it’s green with a hook for this thick 100ft rope. »
 » I like how it looks very stealthy. »

Bakura’s POV

« When was the last time you stole something of value? »
« I mean something extremely valuable?

« Well Bakura I guess it’s been over two years ago. »

« Greg I don’t think what your wearing or the equipment you’ve been using is making you be the best thief you can be? »

« Ryou don’t you agree? »

« Yes Bakura I agree. »

« Well while Ryou is tossing all of these outfits and tools of the trade in the trash can, I’d like to show you some examples of what you should be using when
performing a job. »

« How does that sound? »

« Bakura I guess I have nothing to lose. »

« Greg that’s the spirit now let’s take a look at these outfits and tools. »

Normal POV

Greg took a look at the three ensembles that Ryou and Bakura had put together for him.
After spending a few hours with the two of them Greg felt pretty confident that he could come up with an ensemble that would make even the most experienced theif proud. He spent the next four hours picking out clothes and accessories using the rules that were given to him by Ryou and Bakura. Although he made numerous mistakes which caused Bakura to almost lose it more than once. Finally the end of the first day was coming to an end and to the surprise of Bakura Greg entered a knife shop.

« I think that this would make an excellent tool for a theif, » Greg said as he picked up a swiss army pocket knife.
//Tenshi I think that he’s getting it finally!//
/It would seem so but we’ll have to see/

Greg than proceeded to walk to the checkout in order to pay for the item. Greg than noticed a huge samarai sword and to the anguish of Bakura he bought that instead of the swiss army pocket knife.

Time skip the next day a few hours before the reveal.

« Hello Greg welcome to the « Theifs Lair » the best shop for all your theiving needs, » Daisuke said as he opened the door to the lair.
« Dark will be with you shortly with your assignment from Bakura, » Daisuke said as he polished the locks that Dark used as pick practice.

« Well Greg I’ve gathered a few essential tools for you to use on your assignment, » Dark said as he walked into the building. After handing Greq the tools he gave him his assignment. « He wants me to what and bring what to the reveal, » Greg yelled! « Yes that is correct so I suggest that you come up with a good plan that’s going to be succesful, « Dark said smirking. « Why don’t you run your plan by me and Daisuke, » Dark said as he took a seat next to Daisuke.

After Greg ran his plan on how he was going to complete his new assignment Daisuke started to laugh. « Oh wow Greg was that a joke, what’s your real plan, » Daisuke laughed. « Daisuke you shouldn’t laugh you know this is serious, » Dark said trying to stiffle his own laughs. « This guy needs some serious help here, » Dark said. « Greg let me give you some pointers and hopefully that’ll give you a more sound plan of attack, » Dark said as he started sketching some ideas on a piece of paper. « Would you like a soda Greg, » Daisuke offered? « Yeah that would be nice I didn’t think I’d be so tired and I still have to go get my outfit done too, » Greg sighed. An hour later Dark presented Greg with some pointers which would enable Greg to pull of the assignment that Bakura had given him to prove his worth as a theif.

Pegasus Palor

« Greggie boy what in the name of funny bunny are you doing with your hair, » Pegasus said as he placed his hand on his hip.
« Uh well…., » Greg stammered.
« Greggie boy you have to trust me I’ll make you look fabulous and sleek. »
« Now take a seat in the chair right there, » Pegasus said pointing to the chair in front of the mirror.
« So Pegasus what exactly are you going to do to me, » Greg asked feeling a bit nervous?
« Just trust me Greggie boy you’ll love your new look but most of all no one will be able to tell that your packing theiving equipment, » Pegasus said as he began washing Greg’s hair.
« Now just because your a theif doesn’t mean that you don’t have to match, » Pegasus said as he pulled out one of the outfits Greg had purchased.
« What do you think of the outfit, » Greg asked?
« You did a great job and the hidden pockets in it make it even better, » Pegasus said as he began dying Greg’s hair a lighter brown with blond highlights.
« Greggie boy the most important thing about performing a job whether it’s trying to bring back your deceased wife or rob the Pharaohs tomb you have to do it with style and confidence, » Pegasus said as he put the finishing touches on Greg.
« So what do you think Greggie boy? »
« It’s great I love it I don’t look like some wanna be anymore and I know I won’t draw attention to myself when I’m staking out my next job, » Greg said smiling.
« Well you look fabulous Greggie boy remember to be confident and you’ll be a great theif. » **Well not as good as Bakura boy but he’s in a class by himself** Pegasus thought as Greg walked out of the palor.

Normal POV-Two hours before the big reveal.

« Well here goes nothing, » Greg thought to himself
« I can’t believe this is what Bakura wants me to steal, » Greg thought to himself as he gathered his new tools and climbed into his truck in order to head for his destination. (35 minutes later) **Ugh if I’m caught I’m going to be dead** Greg thought to himself as he quietly made his way to the window sill of his victim.

« Aibou I’m going to take a shower, » Yami called out to his light.
« Okay Yami the pizza will be here in fifteen minutes, » Yugi called out to his dark.

« Well here goes nothing, » Greg said as he slipped into the bedroom of Yugi and Yami.

**That was a relaxing shower I’ll have Aibou join me next time** Yami thought as he walked into the bedroom wearing only a towel around his waste.

**It’s now or never** Greg thought to himself as he quickly blind folded Yami before he could see what hit him.

« Mhat Melp Me Mibou, » Yami screamed as he was bound and gag’d. (What help me Aibou.)
« Mmm Min Mime Ma Marrow Mum Mand Me Mow! » (I’m the Pharaoh unhand me now!)

**He’s a fiesty one no wonder Bakura wanted me to steal him to prove my worth as a theif**
Greg then left Yugi a note per Bakura’s instructions.

At the reveal

« Hi everyone and welcome to What Not To Steal! »
« Before we reveal Greg let’s take a look at what Greg stole before we got a hold of him. »
« Ryou can you start the video? »
« Sure Bakura. »
« Okay everyone it’s time to watch some embarrassing videos while we wait for Greg to get ready. »

Meanwhile back at the Kame Game shop…

« Yami the pizza is getting cold what’s taking you so long? »
/Yami are you okay?/
« Yami I’m coming up to the bedroom. »
**What in the world is this** Yugi thought as he picked up a note that was on the night stand.
Dear Yugi,

You’ll find your darker half at the What Not To Steal Reveal which is happening at 6pm.
You can pick him up there.
Bakura told me to steal him.


**Great No wonder he never answered** Yugi thought as he picked up his car keys and headed out the door.

At the reveal.

« Well I think that Greg is ready to show us what he’s stolen, » Bakura said as he pointed to the curtain on the stage.
« Everyone get ready to cheer Greg on, » Ryou said pointing to the large crowd.

After the curtain was drawn up there stood Greg wearing black cargos, black boots, and a tight fitting black t shirt. In his left jacket pocket he carried some plastic ties and his new handy swiss army knife ( he decided to go back and get it).
Next to him in a chair sat a very unhappy bound and gagged Pharaoh with his Millenium puzzle discretly placed between his legs.

« Wow Greg I’m absolutely thrilled at your progress these past few days, » Ryou said pointing to the bound Yami.
« Greg I have to say that as a fellow theif you have definitely made me proud of what you have accomplished, » Bakura said patting Greg on the back.
« Well everyone it’s been a long couple of days, so until next time. »
« This is Bakura and Ryou signing off from What Not To Steal. »

After the show

« Mmmm Mamura Mime manna Mill Mu! » ( Bakura I’m going to kill you!)
/Bakura don’t you think we should untie Yami now?/
//I told Yugi how to undo his bounds.//
/Oh well in that case let’s go have some fun./
//I like how you think Tenshi//

(Kaiba walks in and notices Yami)

« Well I’m just glad that Mokuba wasn’t stolen this time haha. »
« You know what Yami check this brand new state of the art limited edition Kuriboh card I got I think I’ll add him to my deck. »
(Kaiba summons Kuriboh)
« Would you like to be in a real duelist deck Kuriboh, » Kaiba says petting Kuriboh on his head.

« Miba Mu Metter Mot….Mugi! » (Kaiba you better not…Yugi!)

(Yugi finally unties his other half)

« Aibou how could you not notice that I was stolen? »
« I’m sorry Yami I figured you were taking a really long shower. »
« But Aibou don’t you think showering for two hours is a little much? »
« Well I thought maybe you were using the restroom and you turned off your side of the link while you were taking care of your business. »
« Aibou! »
« What you did eat that super mega 50 lb steak at the restaurant yesterday cause that guy at the table next to us challenged you to. »
« Come on Yami put your clothes on and let’s go home, hehehehe. »

« Hi this is Ryou and Dark Sanctuary hopes you liked this fic. »
« Please review. »

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