❯ The Bane of My Existence-An Azumanga Daioh Fanfiction – The Giant from the West ( Chapter 1 )

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The Bane of My Existence
(An Azumanga Daioh Fan Fiction)
Chapter One: The Giant from the West

“Yukari Tanizaki come to my office immediately!” The school’s Headmaster bellowed over the intercom.
“What does THAT blowhard want now?” Yukari Tanizaki, homeroom teacher of class 3 asked, rather loudly.
Yukari Tanizaki was a very attractive twenty-eight year old English teacher, who definitely had her own unique methods of teaching. The students knew not to incur her wrath, or God help them. Despite this, she was well liked, but occasionally got into trouble from the brass at the school due to her abrasive personality.
The students stared at her. She hadn’t intended to be as loud as she had been, but she ignored them. It was no secret that Yukari didn’t much care for the Headmaster.
Yukari opened up a drawer in her desk, and pulled out a stack of papers.
She knew she had to go to the Headmaster’s office, but she also knew that she was expected to have the very papers she held in her hand handed in by the next day she was in class. This was a statute she actually tried to follow (though she ignored most of the other statutes), and usually succeeded at.
Anyone who knew Yukari could say that she was lazy. She did as little as she could to get by, and that was if she felt like doing anything at all. Despite this, she was actually a very competent teacher.
She glanced at the papers she now held, but really didn’t much feel like getting up to pass them out.
“Toko. Come up here.” She ordered to one of her male students sitting in the front row.
Toko Takino was Tomo Takino’s younger brother (one grade under her, and one year younger), but unlike his sister (who had graduated the previous year) he was as studious as they come. He was, after all, a senior.
He was a tad on the short side, much like his sister, but unlike his sister (who was the self proclaimed Wildcat) he was rather laid back and calm.
He had short, dark, brown hair (like his sister) and despite being a book smart youth, he was rather popular with the girls around campus and didn’t wear glasses.
Today, he wore the standard blue uniform that was required of him, by school rules, to wear.
Toko sighed, obediently got up from his seat and went up to Yukari’s desk.
“Yes Yukari-sensei?” He meekly asked.
Yukari handed him the stack of papers.
“Pass these out. Headmaster Blowhard summons me. Maybe he thinks I’m sexy.” She sarcastically said, wiggling her chest in a suggestive manner.
`Yeah right’s and `No way in hell’s followed. This earned an incredibly evil stare, as well as a chalk missile to the speaker, from Yukari, who HAD heard one remark, despite it being said softly.
Toko took the papers from her, and immediately went about passing them out to his fellow classmates. Not forgetting to give himself one, of course.
Seeing that everything was in order, Yukari declared a study hall, saying that the paper that the students just got, would be due the next time she was in class. She declared that Toko would be in charge. The students cheered. Toko may have been studious, but he was also the most popular male student in the entire school. He would let his classmates do what they wanted, when he was left in charge.
At that, she picked up her purse and school bag, and walked out the door, closing it behind her.
In the hall, she wondered why the principal had called her to his office.
Had she done something to offend some member of the faculty?
She didn’t really much care, since she would get out of it the same way she always did, by using her feminine wiles.
As she walked to the headmaster’s office, she passed by Minomo Kurasawa’s homeroom with a “Hi Nyamo” to her fellow teacher and “friend”.
Minomo Kurasawa and Yukari had been “friends” since high school, the very high school in which they taught (ironically enough). Minamo and Yukari were the same age, but Minamo behaved like someone five to ten years her senior. She certainly had her head on straight. Yukari was always trying to outdo Minomo, or Nyamo as Yukari called her, in various events including: the annual Sport’s Fest and Culture Fest. Nyamo was never too thrilled about this, but she was willing to shut Yukari up, especially when Yukari was setting up bets, which she was prone to do, and was known to win.
Minamo turned to the voice, and gave a sharp “What did you do now?” to Yukari.
“Nothing.” Yukari said innocently.
“Whatever. I have a class, which you’re disturbing.” Nyamo said coldly.
Yukari gave a slight “Hmmph.” And walked past her `friend’s classroom.
“Damn that Nyamo. Who does she think she is?” Yukari muttered as she stormed down the hallway.
Students and teachers, in their classrooms, alike turned their heads at the sudden noise.
“What are you looking at?!” She screeched.
The teachers and students quickly resumed their normal activities.
Again, Yukari didn’t realize how loud she was being, but her peers and students knew full well.
She reached the Headmaster’s office, walked past the secretary, and let herself in.
The Headmaster looked up from reading a file.
“Yukari, have a seat.” The middle-aged man motioned to a chair as Yukari stood fuming.
The Headmaster was in his mid forties, and was already balding on top. He had a kind face framed by wire-rimmed glasses that he always wore, which suited his stern-yet-kind personality perfectly. He was the same Headmaster that had been there ever since Yukari had started.
Yukari took a seat, placing her purse and school bag on the floor beside her, as the Headmaster resumed looking through a file that was on his desk.
Yukari began to sweat. Usually when she got called in here, The Headmaster told her what she did wrong, wrote her up, and then sent her on her way after a long and dull speech.
This is what Yukari found troubling, since the only thing he had said to her was “Yukari, have a seat.”
Yukari couldn’t take it anymore. She stood up and slammed her left palm onto his desk while clenching her right hand into a fist.
That got his attention.
“What the hell did I do?” She shrieked.
“Up until this moment, nothing. Now, sit down.” The Headmaster replied calmly.
Yukari obeyed.
“Huh?” Yukari queried.
“I called you here, not because you are in trouble, but rather that I want you to go pick up our new transfer teacher from the airport.” The man said.
Yukari was still trying to process this.
“So, I’m not in trouble.” She asked.
“No, you’re not.” He answered.
“Wait! Transfer teacher?!” Yukari bellowed.
The Headmaster passed the file he had been looking at to her with a nod. Yukari took the file and began skimming through it.
“Whoa! He’s hot.” Yukari observed, drooling a bit.
“His name is Bane Richardson, from California.” He began.
Yukari laughed at that.
The Headmaster glared at her.
“What?” Yukari said innocently.
“I’ll have you know, he speaks five different languages (including Japanese) fluently.” The Headmaster replied angrily.
“Just as long as I don’t have to baby him, and be his translator.” Yukari said in her typical uncaring, selfish manner.
The Headmaster shook his head.
“Since we want our students to be well rounded, we have en-stated a Theater Arts program, to ensure the students have an appreciation for the arts. That’s where Mr. Richardson comes in. He will be our new Theater Arts teacher.” The Headmaster explained calmly.
Yukari looked up from the file.
“You mentioned this in the staff meeting last week.” Yukari said sarcastically.
“Oh, so I did.” The Headmaster replied sheepishly.
Yukari rolled her eyes.
“In any case, Mr. Richardson’s plane will be arriving in half an hour. I want you to go pick him up.” He finished.
Yukari looked stunned, but excited that she could get to drive.
“Beats sitting in class for half an hour.” Yukari said lazily.
“Oh no, you’re not driving him. I sent for a taxi. It should be out in front of the school by now. You will only be his escort.” The Headmaster said wisely.
Yukari slumped in her chair, knowing that she couldn’t get to use the Yukarimobile to pick up the new teacher.
The Headmaster was glad he had made that decision. Otherwise, he would have had to start looking for a new teacher who wasn’t permanently scarred for life thanks to Yukari’s driving.
He dismissed Yukari, who placed the photo of Bane in her purse, handed back the file, rounded up her things and headed out the door.
She walked towards the front exit of the school, where a taxi was waiting.
She rolled her eyes, and approached the driver, who was having a quick cigarette break inside the cab.
“You gonna smoke that thing during the whole drive?” Yukari sarcastically asked.
The driver got out of the cab, and looked her up and down.
“You must be Yukari. Headmaster Fujimora told me to expect a smartass.” The cabbie replied.
Yukari was getting impatient. This whole business of having to play tour guide for a transfer teacher was bad enough, but having a snippy cabbie was crossing the line.
“We gonna go anytime in the near future?” Yukari asked impatiently.
The cabbie threw his cigarette to the ground and snuffed it out. He got inside, and started the engine.
Yukari guessed that was her answer.
She opened the back door and climbed inside, placing her bags on the seat beside her.
Once she closed the door behind her, the taxi pulled out of the parking lot.
Yukari had ample time to buckle up during the drive, since the cabbie wasn’t going that fast.
Yukari tapped her fingers impatiently on the seat beside her.
She suddenly had enough of the rather sluggish driving.
“Can’t this thing go any faster?” She shouted.
The cabbie had been frustrated enough by her snide remarks, but this was the limit.
“Oh, you want fast, huh?” He asked with a hint of rage.
Yukari rolled her eyes. “Yes. I’ve got to pick up Richardson in less than half an hour.”
The cabbie turned his head back to Yukari.
“You want fast? You got it, princess.” The tough driver retorted.
He turned back around, and slammed on the gas. This threw Yukari back into her seat.
The cabbie was weaving between cars, and Yukari was screaming her lungs out. It seemed that she had never ridden with someone who drove like her.
They finally got to the airport. The cabbie pulled up to the curb next to the gate that Richardson was supposed to be arriving at: Gate 25. Yukari was in a state of shock. Her face was a ghostly white. The cabbie began to feel remorse for doing that to her.
Yukari peeled herself off of the seat, grabbed her bags (she feared the driver would steal something), and shouted “Woohoo! Let’s do that again.”
The cabbie sweat dropped. He had never been asked to purposely drive fast and recklessly before, let alone a second time.
Yukari opened the door and got out. “I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere, cutie.” She said, trotting up to the gate.
The cabbie wanted to leave her stranded there, but knew he was getting paid good money to drive this psychopath and her companion.
The cabbie knew the school was paying him for this trip, so he left the meter running, let his seat back and went to sleep.
Yukari took out Bane’s photo from her purse and, realizing she was a bit early (a rare occurrence), walked to the airport coffee shop to get a quick bite, she had missed breakfast, before picking up the new teacher.
Upon reaching the shop, she looked around for some young businessman she could swindle, since she never wanted to pay for her own drinks.
She spotted one, a twenty something Japanese businessman (or so he appeared to be at least) who, from the looks of it, was traveling alone.
“Jackpot!” Thought Yukari, putting Bane’s photo away in her purse, as she walked over to the man, who was standing just to the side of the shop, reading the paper.
Yukari stopped next to the man, who momentarily looked up and gave a slight smile.
Yukari ran a finger up and down the man’s arm.
“What’s a girl gotta do to get with a sexy man like yourself?” She asked seductively
The man looked around to see if there could possibly be any other person this beautiful creature could be addressing.
The man was in his mid twenties and of average high and build for a Japanese man. He wasn’t the greatest looking nor did he have a girlfriend to speak of. He was wearing a dark blue suit, white shirt, black tie, and brown shoes. His thick glasses kept sliding down his nose.
He looked straight at Yukari, pointed to himself and asked “Are you talking to me?”
Yukari took the newspaper away from him and set it on the top of a nearby garbage can. It was clear what keeping up with the news meant to her.
The man glared at her because of this.
She took off his glasses and put them in his shirt pocket.
Yukari put her arms around the man, who by now was in heaven, leaned down towards his ear, and said “Buy me a drink and I’ll give you a kiss.”
The man immediately walked over to the coffee shop line, with Yukari on his arm and went to the counter.
The cashier greeted them with a smile.
“What will it be?” The cashier, who couldn’t be more than seventeen, asked.
The man turned to Yukari, who was reading the menu.
“You don’t have any beer?” She asked a bit disappointed.
“M’am, this is a coffee shop. We don’t serve alcohol here.” The cashier stated. He was a little shocked that someone would order alcohol this early in the morning.
“Damn.” Yukari muttered.
“Honey, there are other drinks here.” The businessman offered.
Yukari considered this before continuing.
“Give me a juice.” She finally said (with a touch of aggravation in her voice), a little saddened by the lack of alcohol present.
The businessman ordered a coffee. The cashier reached into a cooler behind him and pulled out Yukari’s juice, placing it on the counter before commencing to make the businessman’s coffee.
The cashier finished making the coffee and returned to the couple.
“That will be 500 Yen.” He announced.
The businessman fished the money from his pocket and paid the teen. He then handed Yukari her drink, and took his own.
“How about that kiss now?” The businessman reminded, turning to Yukari.
Yukari shrugged. She didn’t get kissed that often, and this was a fairly nice guy.
She grabbed him by the shoulders, pulled him to her and kissed him on the lips.
The man’s glasses fogged up and he dropped to the floor, spilling hot coffee all over him and the surrounding tile. Either he didn’t get kissed much, or Yukari was a great kisser.
“That hadn’t been that bad” Thought Yukari. She would have to remember this guy for a later rendezvous, should the chance present itself.
She wrote down her phone number, knelt down and put it in his jacket pocket.
The man was still out cold.
Yukari suddenly remembered Bane.
“Shit!” She cursed to herself. She was going to get it from the Headmaster if she screwed this up.
Bane’s flight was supposed to arrive at 9:30 a.m., and right at that moment her watch read 9:27 a.m.
She hurried through the busy terminal pushing people, who responded with a “Watch it!” aside as she went.
She finally spotted him exiting the gate and heading into the terminal.
She hurried to catch him before he got too far.
She was in luck. He had stopped to buy a map of Tokyo from a vendor and was reading it a short distance from the vendor. He didn’t see her coming.
As she approached, she took in how large of a man Bane Richardson was.
He was Caucasian and stood six feet one inch, weighing two hundred ten pounds. He had long, blonde hair, which was pulled back into a ponytail. He had the build of a professional athlete, not of a Theater Arts teacher. She felt a little intimidated by him, something quite uncharacteristic of Yukari Tanizaki. Yukari didn’t intimidate easily.
She reached him and stood to his right.
She found herself staring at the sheer size of the man, but marveled at his chiseled, handsome features.
******
Bane turned around, as he felt prying eyes, to see a lovely young woman standing next to him.
“I wonder what she wants.” He thought to himself, adjusting the map to a smaller size.
“Maybe she wants an autograph.” He considered.
Bane had been an actor, when he lived in California. His career had been prosperous (usually forcing him to have “tough guy” roles, which were contrary to his docile nature, due to his size), so he had managed to arrive at a considerable fortune. He was no Bill Gates, but he was well off. He could certainly live comfortably in Tokyo between his salary as a teacher, and his considerably large bank account. He had stopped acting because it was too hectic, but he loved the theater, so he took up teaching at UCLA before transferring to Tokyo.
He towered over the woman who stared up at him, but her prying eyes made him uneasy. He never cared much for fan girls, preferring his privacy.
He decided that if she wanted an autograph, that he would give it to her. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He had a few business cards leftover from his acting days. They seemed useful and satisfied the fan girls (so they would leave him in peace), so he kept them. He pulled one out, returning his wallet to his back pocket, retrieved a pen from his portfolio (which resided in his suitcase), jotted off a quick signature onto the card, and handed it to the woman (who stared at him in confusion).
He scratched his head, noting this, and figured something was wrong.
“What seems to be the problem?” He asked, speaking in perfect Japanese dialect.
******
Yukari stood there wondering why the large man had given her a card with his name written on it. She stared at him in confusion.
She noticed him scratching his head and wondered if he had dandruff or possibly lice.
“What seems to be the problem?” The large man suddenly asked in perfect Japanese.
“The Headmaster was right” She thought to herself with a bit of indignation.
“Nothing is wrong.” Yukari announced.
Bane didn’t seem convinced.
“I’m Yukari Tanizaki. My, my, my, you are sexy.” The woman seductively said, putting her bags down and rubbing his arm (which was at his side).
Bane shook his head. “Well, Ms. Tanizaki, you are quite attractive and I would love to stay and chat, but I’m waiting for someone.”
Yukari moved in beside him, wrapping her much, smaller arms around his intimidatingly, beefy arm.
She looked up at him. “Would you be waiting for someone from a certain high school?” She asked sweetly.
Bane raised an eyebrow. “She couldn’t possibly be my escort, could she?” He wondered.
“Yes. As a matter of fact I am.” He answered. Wary that this woman had begun rubbing on him, much like a cat would its owner’s leg.
“Well, look no further big boy, I’m right here.” Yukari purred.
Realizing that he was faced with few options, he decided to believe her. If she was a rabid fan girl, he would call the police on her to have her arrested for unwanted physical contact.
He was too polite to say anything negative to her. Bane had always been the kind to look for the good in everyone.
He decided to give her a chance.
“Alright, Ms. Tanizaki, let’s go.” He stated.
At that, she jumped for joy and led him to the waiting taxi.
She found the cabbie sleeping in the driver’s seat. She would fix that.
She yanked open the door, and screeched into the driver’s ear “Wake up!”
He jumped at that and Bane sweat dropped.
The driver popped the trunk after seeing Bane standing there.
Bane had intended upon living in Tokyo, so he had quite a few bags to go into the trunk.
After stuffing them into the trunk, with help from Yukari and the driver (who had recovered from Yukari’s outburst), Bane got into the taxi, followed by Yukari and then the driver (who was prepared for Yukari this time), strapped himself in, and after the driver gave Yukari a dirty look for screeching like a hell beast at him, strapped himself in (followed by Yukari) the cabbie pulled out of the airport parking lot to head back to the school.
Bane began to wonder what the hell he had gotten himself into as the driver stomped on the gas and began weaving between cars, much to the delight of Yukari. Bane was unaffected by it, since he had seen, and experienced, worse working in Hollywood.
They arrived back at the school and the cabbie instructed Bane and Yukari to inform Fujimora to have the money deposited into his account by the next day, or “The consequences would be dire”.
Bane told the cabbie to calm down and that he would pay the fee, once he was taken to his new home.
Bane had bought a lavish home in Tokyo the year before and never really used it much. Now he would get the chance.
The cabbie dropped off Yukari at the school, and she immediately headed towards the gymnasium, where she knew Minomo would be teaching her second period class. Yukari decided to ditch her second period class, and bother Minomo.
After seeing Yukari off, Bane instructed the cabbie to take him to his “new” home.
After about ten minutes of driving, and Bane making idle chit-chat with the driver, they arrived at his home.
It was lavish alright. Bane was the sort who only bought the very best. Despite this, he was a caring and giving soul. He gave to charities and even helped out in soup kitchens, for no other reason than to help those in need.
He opened the door to the cab and got out. The cabbie had been thrilled to have a customer who wasn’t a pain in the butt. He still hated Yukari.
The driver turned off the ignition, popped the trunk and helped Bane carry his things to the door of the mansion.
Bane lived alone, so it didn’t make much sense to own a mansion. Again, he only bought the very best.
After locating the key to the place, he stepped into the foyer for the first time in six months. The cleaning crew he had hired must have just left, for the house smelled lemon fresh.
The cabbie let out a low whistle as he set the bags on the floor. It had only taken each of them one trip to get all of the bags. Bane carried most of them.
Bane paid the man, who was highly impressed by the estate, and saw him off. The cabbie returned to his cab, got in, started it up and left. Bane was alone in his fully furnished mansion. He closed the door and locked it.
He left the bags where they lay and walked into the living room, where a massive T.V. sat. He kicked off his shoes and flopped onto his imported, black, leather sofa. Jet lag was setting in, and he knew that if he didn’t sleep it off, he would be worthless the next day: his first day at the high school.
Bane didn’t even bother to turn his sixty inch T.V. on. He preferred the silence when he suffered from jet lag. It helped him recover more quickly. As he began to get drowsy, he glanced around the room. Just as he had left it: three, oversized bookshelves took up the walls. Despite his intimidating appearance, he loved to read. He was incredibly intelligent for a man resigned to “tough guy” movie roles.
The emerald, green carpet took up all of this room and the adjoining one, as well. His previous girlfriend had picked it out. She had since left him to be with a director. The windows were bay windows: the kind one can sit in and read a good book.
Black-out curtains, emerald green to match the carpet, were drawn. He liked it dark. His friends back home called him a vampire for that, but that’s just how he was. It wasn’t only for the dark that he kept black-out curtains, but also for the intense amount of privacy they offered. Bane was a solitary sort.
Painting from various artists that he had never heard of nor cared about ordained the walls. Also his girlfriend’s doing.
He drifted off to sleep staring at his high ceiling, which was painted tan (just like the walls). The fan was on (looked to be on medium). The cleaners must’ve forgotten to turn it off.
His last waking thought was to give the cleaners a raise. At this, the man who would be considered a giant in this city, grew a smile on his face.

End of Chapter One