Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Prompt 84 ( Chapter 5 )
Already Taken Care Of (prompt 84 – Sex; table one)
Summary: Kenshin should have done this a long time ago.
A/N: Modern AU. Do not read this fic if you can’t handle changes to canon.
« Kenshin, have you done it yet? »
« Done what? » Kenshin asked innocently.
His wife, standing in the doorway of the laundry room, crossed her arms in an ominous manner. « The thing I’ve been asking you to do for weeks now. »
« Ummm…fixed the lawnmower? » Kenshin tried, cautiously continuing to sort the clothes into piles of lights and darks.
« No. Have you talked to Kenji? »
It was nice when she made it easy. « Of course, » Kenshin said confidently. He set the empty basket aside and began scooping socks and underwear into the washing machine.
Megumi narrowed her eyes. « I meant, have you had The Talk with him. »
Dang it. « …Wow, we sure are running low on detergent, de-gozaru! »
She marched inside a few steps and shut the lid of the washing machine, pointing sternly with her other finger. « Go. And the next time I see you, this had better be taken care of if you want any more personal experience of what you’re supposed to be telling him about. »
« Ororo…. » Reluctantly, he moved past her and then faced the back hallway as if it was a gauntlet of doom. « This one doesn’t even know how to bring up the subject, that is…. »
Kenji was sprawled half across his bed and half across his desk chair, somehow managing to talk on the phone, surf through an online video archive, make his way through a video game, and work on math homework, all at the same time. …Well, the homework seemed to be getting the short end of the stick, but nevertheless, it was an impressive feat of multi-tasking.
« …Hello, Kenji, » Kenshin greeted unhappily.
Not even a flicker of response. « No way, that’s the lamest band ever! » Kenji was exclaiming into the phone. « Melodious Nocturne totally owns them! »
« I’m standing in your room, by the way, » Kenshin remarked.
« GAAAHHH, stupid Fat Bandit! …What? No, sorry, I was talking to the game. »
Come to think of it, this situation was advantageous to one inclined to procrastinate. Kenshin perched on the non-Kenji-occupied half of the chair and curiously clicked on a video featuring kittens.
« Hey, don’t touch my computer! » Kenji yelled.
« Not touching it, » Kenshin pointed out cheerfully (and truthfully, since the video was already playing).
Kenji looked at him for a minute, then gave a dramatic sigh and said into the phone, « Hey, gotta go, my dad’s getting on my case again. » He hung up and paused the game. « What do you want? »
« At the moment, to see if that gray one is going to fall off the side of the box, » Kenshin murmured.
Kenji paused the video, too. « Can you just get it over with so that you can please get out of my room again? »
Kenshin gave a very deep sigh. « Ahem. Kenji. » There was a long pause.
« Yeah? » Kenji prompted impatiently.
« So…when a man and a woman love each other very much…. »
Kenji stared. « Huh? »
« Um…birds and bees…you know…? »
« …You can’t be serious. »
« See, what they say about storks, ummm, it’s not exactly true, since that’s not where–«
« Dad, » Kenji interrupted, « if this is your pathetic attempt to give me the Sex Talk, you can forget it. Uncle Enishi already took care of that ages ago. »
Kenshin stared. « Yukishiro Enishi told you where babies come from? »
« Yup. And lots of other stuff, too. »
Kenshin abruptly stood up, snapped off the computer monitor, and moved to do the same with the TV.
« Hey! » Kenji yelled, « You can’t–! »
« Sit up, » his father ordered in a voice of steel. « You and this one are going to have a talk, that we are. »
Kenji gulped and scrambled to straighten up. « Y-Yes, sir. »
Author’s Notes: Kenji’s pretty rude, sorry. *sweatdrop* I have a hard time imagining Kenshin as being a good disciplinarian…. (You can be sure that Kenji doesn’t get away with anything when his mom’s eye is on him, though!)
Yes, people. I was perfectly aware that Kenji is Kaoru’s son in the manga long before people started yapping at me about it all the time. Just because something is canon doesn’t mean I have to stick to it as if it’s sacred writ. And just because you don’t like what I write doesn’t make it okay for you to dictate to me. If you don’t like what I write, then don’t read my stories, as I’ve kept telling people over and over again.