Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ *Omake* ( Chapter 4 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
The Lost Hatchling, a Rurouni Kenshin fanfic by Raberba girl
Omake – Planning and writing the fic

A/N: Yes, this is pretty close to what my brainspace looks like when I’m planning and writing stories. *sweatdrop* We kind of « film » it as if it’s a movie.

*WARNING: This omake is written in the style of a humor script fic, so reading it will probably damage the emotional impact of the original story. Please DO NOT READ THIS unless you don’t mind your perspective getting altered.*


Half the RuroKen cast is crowded around the computer, reading Sapphire Scales reviews over R.girl’s shoulder. The other half is scattered around the living room, pretending they’re not interested.

YAHIKO: Why is this fic so popular? I’m not in it.

KAORU: Yeah, and the ending’s lame.


R.GIRL: What? Lame?! How?

KAORU (sarcastically): Oh, let me think…Kenshin up and leaves me again, I get turned into a dragon again, and do we even get a reunion scene? No! Just a vague, wimpy epilogue that hints that we probably ended up happily-ever-after as dragon shapeshifters!

HIKO (from across the room): Quit whining. You’re not the amazingly magnificent genius who was the only character to get left out of the series.

Five of the Six Comrades start to speak up, then think better of it. Misao, incidentally, happens to be getting a snack in the kitchen, or else she’d have some things to say as well.

R.GIRL: Sorry, Hiko-chan! I tried to fit you in, really, but it just didn’t work out!

The room goes utterly still.

HIKO: …What did you just call me…?

R.GIRL: Uh… »Hiko-sama »?

Hiko gets up and starts striding over to R.girl with his hand resting on his sword hilt in a matter-of-fact way; she flees the scene. Uninterested, the Kenshingumi return their attention to the computer.

SANOSUKE: Seriously, though– we need a sequel.

KAORU: What, starring you?

SANOSUKE: *insulted look* Of course not! Starring Kenshin. With me as number 1 sidekick, of course.

YAHIKO: Moron! I’m number 1 sidekick!

They fight.


KAORU: Kenshin, is that really all you have to say in R.girl-san’s script fics?

KENSHIN: Oro– That is, no? De-gozaru?

KAORU (shakes head affectionately): Never mind.

Everyone glances up as R.girl runs breathlessly back in.

KENSHIN: Oro, what happened to Shishou, R.girl-dono?

R.GIRL: *satsified look* I sicced a horde of fangirls on him.

All the RuroKen hotties give her looks of varying degrees of horror.

R.GIRL: Hey, it’s Hiko! It was the only way to get him off my back! Anyway, I was just thinking, guys…Ken-chan, Kaoru, what do you think your kids in the Sapphire Scales universe would be like, since they’d be the offspring of dragon-shapeshifters?


SANOSUKE: Oi, I’m supposed to be the big thing in this sequel, not some hot-shot mini-Kenshins!

KAORU: Why does Kenshin always get copies of himself for kids, and I don’t?!

YAHIKO (watching R.girl and looking freaked out): Shut up, Busu, she’s got that scary look in her eye….

R.GIRL: Sequel? Sequel…now that you mention it, Kenshin’s dragon-kids would make an interesting idea for a sequel….

KAORU: Again with the Kenshin clones! What about me?


R.GIRL (not listening): I’ll need actual bad guys…and I want Tomoe in this one….

Tomoe blinks and looks up from where she’d been gazing out the window with a cup of tea. Akira starts looking overprotective.

R.GIRL: Now what shall the angsty backstory be…?

Everyone looks apprehensively at Enishi; he rolls his eyes and continues playing chess with Soujirou.

R.GIRL: …Dragon kids would be born from dragon eggs.

KAORU: What?!

MEGUMI: *snort* Not from a human body, I’d hope.

R.GIRL: Good point. I guess Kaoru’s in dragon form when she lays her eggs.


Everyone snickers mightily as Kenshin tries to stop Kaoru from strangling R.girl.

R.GIRL (oblivious): Anyway, so if Kenji’s born in an egg, he could last for – indefinitely! To, like, modern times! Yeah, modern times, way cool!

Megumi starts off in the background about eggs needing warmth and nurturing, you can’t just drop them somewhere and expect them to stay alive. Someone reminds her about magic, so that she throws her hands in the air and gives up.

KENJI (bounding in): What, what, what?! You’re writing a fic with ME in it?! *grabs R.girl excitedly and shakes her ’til her teeth crack together* MAKE ME THE MAIN CHARACTER!!!!!!!!!


R.GIRL: You? But…you’re…not Kenshin.

KENJI: But I look JUST LIKE HIM! I can BE HIM and still be MYSELF! Do it! Do it now!

KAORU (to Kenshin): Is this really our child?

KENSHIN: Well, he’s probably not quite what Watsuki-dono had in mind….

R.GIRL (thinking out loud): It’s got to start right in the middle of things…Kenji sees Ayame and Suzume fall off a roof, except they have dragon wings….

Ayame and Suzume come trotting over.

AYAME: Really?! Ken-nii gets to be our daddy again?!


They hug Kenshin, who hugs them back with a confused smile.

KAORU: And here I am, forgotten yet again.

AYAME: Oh…we love you too, Kaoru-nee.

KAORU: *sigh* You sound very convincing, Ayame-chan.

R.GIRL: …Kenji and the girls get attacked by bad guys…oh man, I have SO got to have Tomoe save the day, roaring in with guns blazing to run someone over….

TOMOE: *interested look*

AKIRA: What?! You can’t make Tomoe-san do something like that! She’s a refined, elegant lady, she would never touch a car or a gun!


AKIRA: …She’s staring at me, isn’t she. *turns around to find that this is so* W…Wait…don’t tell me you want to go driving around shooting people, Tomoe-san?!

Tomoe kisses him lightly on the cheek and comes over to help R.girl write down notes.

AKIRA: Aaaaagghhh!

MEGUMI (sympathetically): Disillusionment stings, ne?

R.GIRL: Yes, that’ll do for an opening scene…now, what are my villains’ motivations?

Everyone looks at Shishio, who is haughtily making out with Yumi and showing no interest in the conversation; and at Enishi, who glares back in annoyance.


R.GIRL: Enishi, why do you hate Kenshin?

ENISHI (suspiciously): Is that a trick question?

R.GIRL: I mean in the dragon world. The Sapphire Scales world.

ENISHI: How should I know! And if you try to kill off my sister again, Raberba, I’ll slit your throat. If you try to make me kill my sister again, I’ll draw and quarter you.

R.GIRL: Oooo-kay, no Tomoe-killing.

TOMOE (in a murmur): Thank you.

R.GIRL (after eyeing her warily to gauge her sarcasm level): Yeah, and we can’t do the same thing over and over again. So…hm, what if Kenshin turned Tomoe into a dragon with, I don’t know, dragon venom or something?

SANOSUKE (in disbelief): Dragon venom?

YAHIKO: *cussing* Like in Twilight?!

R.GIRL (defensively): Oh, come on, traditional werewolves have virusey saliva, too! Not just sparklepires.

MEGUMI: *puts an exasperated hand to her forehead* Virusey dragon saliva….

R.GIRL: ANYWAY, it works if you don’t look at it too closely! So Kenshin bites Tomoe and turns her into a dragon.

KENSHIN: *blinks* Oro….

R.GIRL: And how did you get caught up in this mess, Akira?

AKIRA: What, me? I don’t want to get involved at all!

R.GIRL (persuasively): But it’s for Tomoe’s sake…you have to save Tomoe…or, no! She’ll save you!

AKIRA: *slump*

R.GIRL: You stole Kenji’s egg in the first place, so Kenshin bites you and then Tomoe asks him to bite her! So you can be together forever.

SOUJIROU (cheerfully): Just a helpful suggestion, Raberba-san, but maybe you should avoid stating your plots so baldly.

R.GIRL: Hey, it’s pre-production! I’m not going to lay it out like this in the actual story!

SOUJIROU: *shrug* As I said, just a suggestion.

R.GIRL: Anyway, so that’s the angsty backstory. And Enishi’s so upset over his sister turning into a mindless dragon that he swears to hate Kenshin for all eternity…

ENISHI: I thought you said we get to do things differently this time.

ME: …by using Kenji to get revenge.

Kenji and Enishi eye each other with interested appraisal.

R.GIRL: Yeah, Enishi tries to take Kenji apart to figure out a way to turn Tomoe human.

Everyone blinks as the atmosphere in the room suddenly darkens.

KENJI: I’m still the main character, right?

R.GIRL: We’ll see.

KENJI: I want to be the main character.

R.GIRL (impatiently): Look, if you’re not, you’ll only be second to Kenshin, okay?

KENJI: *thinks a moment* Okay!

SANOSUKE: Why are you the only one still looking cheerful about this suddenly forboding story?

R.GIRL: So…in the present day, Tomoe saves Kenji and Ayame and Suzume, but Enishi gets there before Kenshin and Kaoru.

KENSHIN: *stony look*

KAORU: I don’t like this story. I can say that right now.

R.GIRL: No, it’ll be okay, really; always happy endings!

ENISHI: *trying to follow R.girl’s train of thought* But if I’m going to be cutting up dragon-hatchlings in laboratories, that sounds pretty…bad.

No one except Yumi notices Shishio suddenly go still, listening intently.

R.GIRL (nervously): Um, yeah…really, this is not what I intended, but the story seems to be steering us into dark waters….

KENJI: Go for it! Let’s go! I wanna do it!

KENSHIN: Kenji….

KENJI: Nuh-uh, don’t even start! I will beat you in the angst department this time around!

R.GIRL: *before anyone else can protest* So the kids get captured, but Saitou can help rescue them–


R.GIRL: –and somehow Shishio ends up training Kenji as the next Hitokiri Battousai.

YAHIKO: So Kenji’s going to be even more of a Kenshin-clone.

KENJI (eagerly): No, really, I can do this! I can so totally be me-as-Dad without actually turning into Dad!

No one understands what he’s talking about except R.girl, who is still busy planning.

SHISHIO: *frowns* Wait a minute.

ENISHI: No, my turn, I never got to finish! Are you saying that I get to be the Figure of Ultimate Evil this time?!

R.GIRL (relieved at the eager look on his face): Is that a problem?

ENISHI (now looking as excited as Kenji): NO WAY!

SHISHIO: And to clarify – I am simply training Battousai’s brat to be an assassin. Not torturing young children.

R.GIRL: Um…yes?

SHISHIO: I am so in. *goes back to kissing Yumi*

R.GIRL: Well! Now that that’s settled, let’s get to work, shall we?

A/N: I did not come up with the term « sparklepire » myself. As far as I know, it was made up by Cleolinda Jones in reference to the vampires of The Twilight Saga. She has some really amusing blog entries on LiveJournal. 🙂

Chapter 1

R.GIRL: Wow…this is going surprisingly according to plan. Now if I can just get over how awful and dark all this is.

KENJI: It’s cool. By the way, Megumi adopted me.

MEGUMI (interested): I did?

R.GIRL: What?! When did this happen?!

KENJI: Hey, someone’s gotta raise me, and it sure as heck ain’t Mom and Dad! I pick Megumi.

R.GIRL: But…!

MEGUMI: It makes sense, doesn’t it? That I have a vague doctor/police-ish job and ended up as one of the crew who rescued Kenji? *hugs him defiantly as he gives her an annoyed look*

R.GIRL: Well…okay. You realize this means I’ll have to like you a lot better than before, Meg.

MEGUMI: *raises an eyebrow*

KENJI: *wriggles free* Hey, how am I going to defend myself against the evil bad guys? *looks at R.girl expectantly*

R.GIRL: Uh…I dunno…you’re just a kid.

KENJI: What?!

R.GIRL: Well, you are!

KENJI: No way! I am SO not going down without a fight! *searches around and finds a pocketknife* Aha!

R.GIRL: ?! Whoa, wait–!

KENJI!: HAH! *throws it at the nearest bad guy*

R.GIRL: …Okay.


R.girl is drooling as she watches Tomoe drive away.

R.GIRL: Must have fanart…Tomoe-chan is so cool….

CHOU: *groaning from where Tomoe ran him over* Raberba, I am so gonna kill you.


R.GIRL: Hm…I wanted to end the chapter when Tomoe drives off with you guys, but – I think it needs to be longer.

EVERYONE: *shrug*

R.GIRL: Okay, Kenji, you’ll be waking up in Tomoe’s apartment….

Enishi makes his grand entrance.

ENISHI: I feel like the Phantom of the Opera.

TOMOE: *muffled giggle*

ENISHI: Hey look, it’s the kid!

Enishi and Kenji fight until the rest of us manage to pry them apart.

R.GIRL: Idiots, this is supposed to be pretend!

KENJI (indignantly): He was trying to cut my finger off!

ENISHI: You said I could be the Figure of Ultimate Evil!

R.GIRL (sternly): Enishi, we still have some boundaries here. No permanent damage; you know this.


KENJI (to Enishi): You touch anything other than my hair, I’ll punch your teeth out.

ENISHI: Keep dreaming, brat. By the way, R.g., I figured out the perfect place to end this chapter…. *shows R.girl the script*

R.GIRL: ?! What?! That’s horrible! …But pretty good, I’ll admit.

ENISHI: *looks pleased*

KENJI (interested): What? What is it?

There is a tussle as R.girl and Enishi unsuccessfully try to keep the script away from Kenji, who reads the last bit.

KENJI: Hey! What the heck!

R.GIRL: Please? Cooperate? Most of this was your idea, anyway.

KENJI (huffily): Fine.

Chapter 2

A/N: Again, this really is a lot like how writing the chapter played out in my head.

Kenshin and Kaoru stand in front of R.girl with forbidding looks on their faces. Kaoru’s arms are crossed; Kenshin is in a pose ominously similar to battoujutsu.

R.GIRL: Guys, come on, it’s pretend! No one’s going to get hurt for real!

KENSHIN: You’re not touching the girls.

KAORU: Period.

R.GIRL: Just one take. Please! It’ll all be fake, I swear!

KENSHIN: No. De-gozaru.

R.GIRL: ……


KAORU: …… *suddenly dashes forward, steals the script, and runs off with it*


She flies after Kaoru in pursuit, with Kenshin right on their heels. As soon as they’re gone:

KENJI: Quick! Ayame, Suzume, come here; Enishi, get into position!

ENISHI: I am in position, punk.

KENJI: Saitou, you film!

SAITOU: *disgusted look*

KENJI: Come on!

SAITOU: *walks away*

KENJI: Argh!

ENISHI: Look, I’m supposed to have a mini-camera anyway; I’ll film.

A little later:

ENISHI: *definitely baby-dragon-proof line*– Wait a minute, aren’t you supposed to have blood on your fingertips?

Ayame puts hers hands behind her back and looks innocent.

KENJI: Ayame! You licked it off your hands again! I told you not to do that!

AYAME (unrepentantly): …But it tastes good.

Kenji sighs, hunts down the jar labeled « Fake blood for Hatchling ch.2, » and makes Ayame dip her fingertips in it again. He starts to put it away, then whirls to catch Ayame in the very act of raising her hands to her mouth.





ENISHI: Look kid, finish the scene and you can eat as much as you want. *wrinkles his nose* What’s that stuff made of, anyway?

KENJI (impatiently): I don’t know; it smells fruity. All right, let’s try this again!

AYAME: *I hate you! You’re a bad man!* *hits Enishi in the face*

ENISHI: *line*– *suddenly frowns and licks the dab of « blood » off his lips from where Ayame hit him* Hey, this is good.

KENJI (exasperated): Enishi!

ENISHI: Like pomegranate jam or something.

Kenji impatiently dips his finger in the « blood » jar and licks it. He pauses. Then he scoops out a glob and gobbles it down.

AYAME: Pig! I want some, too!

She runs over and starts trying to wrestle the jar away from Kenji. Enishi strides up behind her and skillfully swipes out tasty morsels of his own whenever he sees the opportunity.

Megumi walks in.

MEGUMI: … ?! What are you kids doing?!

AYAME: He’s hogging all the blood!

KENJI: *offers the jar to Megumi* You want some?

ENISHI: *swipes out another glob to lick*


KENJI: It’s not real blood, geez!

ENISHI: … *regretful sigh* We’d better finish the scene before we eat it all….

After they act the scene:

KENJI (awed): Wow…you’re actually pretty good at this, Ayame.

AYAME: *looks flattered* Thanks!


KENJI: …Oi, ‘Zume. You okay?

SUZUME: …I want Ken-nii now.

KENJI (nervously): Okay.


KENJI: Dad! Dad!

Kenshin and Kaoru come back in, R.girl trailing sheepishly behind.

KAORU: What’s wrong?

Suzume wordlessly holds her arms up to Kenshin, who picks her up.

KENSHIN (concerned): Suzume-chan? Are you all right? What happened?

SUZUME: …Nothing.

AYAME (nervously): We didn’t do anything. It was just pretend.

SUZUME: I want cookies.

KENJI: Okay. Someone get her cookies!

R.GIRL (hurriedly): Let’s go back and film the beginning of the chapter now….

KENSHIN & KAORU: *murderous looks*


SANOSUKE: Oi! Did you forget about us or something?

YAHIKO: You realize I haven’t spoken a single line throughout this entire monster-chapter?

R.GIRL: Uh…you’re right. Hm. *thinks a minute* ..You know, guys, I think I’m gonna have to cut you loose.


R.GIRL: Look, there’s nothing for you to do! You don’t want to just hang around in the background throughout the whole fic doing nothing while Kenshin and Kenji have all these adventures, do you?

SANO & YAHIKO: *growl*

R.GIRL: Look, I’ll see if I can think up some different roles for you! Stay on standby! I’ll call you!

SANOSUKE: Whatever. I want coffee.

R.GIRL: Okay, um…Kenshin, Kaoru, why don’t you go join him.

KENSHIN & KAORU: *murderous looks*

KENJI: Oh, come on! Just go already! Take Ayame and Suzume with you.

KENSHIN: *sigh*

KAORU: Guess you’re old enough to know what you’re doing.

They walk away disapprovingly with the girls.

KENJI (challengingly): You up for the next torture scene, ‘Nishi?

ENISHI: Don’t call me that.

KENJI: Aw, you prefer « Eni-chan »?


R.GIRL: Kenji, I don’t think it’s very smart to taunt a guy who’s about to– *catches sight of Akira and Tomoe hanging around in the background* …cut your face….

Kenji and Enishi stare at R.girl as she stares at the Kiyosatos.

AKIRA: What?

R.GIRL: Enishi, give him the knife.



ENISHI: Seriously?

TOMOE: …Raberba-san, I really don’t want to do this.

R.GIRL (in a small voice): Oh…okay.

KENJI: No! Do it! It’s brilliant!

AKIRA: Kid, you are twisted.

KENJI (pleased): Why, thank you.


R.GIRL: …Guys, just don’t say anything.

SAITOU: This is one of the stupidest action/adventure sequences I’ve ever been forced to take part in.



Kenji jerks, startled, when Soujirou comes in.

SOUJIROU (cheerfully): Hi! I’m Seta Soujirou, and I’ve come to rescue you.

KENJI (frantically): R.g.!

R.GIRL: What? What?!

KENJI: Who is he?! He’s scary!

R.GIRL: *jaw drops in disbelief* Soujirou? Scary?



Kenshin bursts in.

KENSHIN: What are you doing to him this time?!

R.GIRL: Nothing! I don’t know why, but Soujirou’s freaking him out.

KENSHIN: Oh. *kneels down next to Kenji* It’s all right, son. Soujirou is just…complicated.

R.GIRL: He’s cute! Do you not see the cuteness?! *points to Soujirou’s adorable smile*

KENJI: AAAHHH! Can’t sleep, bishounen will eat me!

Kaoru raises an eyebrow.

KAORU: Bishounen? Uh, darling, when was the last time you looked in a mirror?

R.GIRL: *sigh* You know what, let’s just call it a day…Kenji, you have about twelve hours to get used to the idea of NOT screaming at the mere sight of Soujirou.

KENJI: *whimper*

When filming resumes:

SOUJIROU: Hi! I’m Seta Soujirou, and I’ve come to rescue you.

KENJI: *whimper*

R.GIRL: Your lines, Kenji.

KENJI: Please…please don’t smile at me….

SOUJIROU (sympathetically): Sorry, but it’s one of my character trademarks.


SAITOU: Don’t be a wimp.

KENJI: …… *barrels determinedly through his lines*

R.GIRL: Well, that was interesting.


KENSHIN: But I don’t want to do this!

R.GIRL: Why not? You did it in Faerie Chronicles.

KENSHIN: But Kenji didn’t hate this one in Faerie Chronicles. *pause* As much.

Kenji does some macho posturing.

KENJI: Come on, Dad, don’t be chicken. *thumps his chest* Hit me, I can take it!

KENSHIN: Kenji, you and this one must find a better method of father-son bonding than trying to kill each other, that we must.

KENJI: Teach me Hiten Mitsurugi-Ryuu and we’ll call it even.

KENSHIN: *groan*

HIKO: Heheh…at last, payback for all those years I had to raise you, baka deshi. Children are wonderful, aren’t they?

KENSHIN: *glare*


KENJI: Why do I have to struggle?

R.GIRL: Because Soujirou’s kidnapping you.

KENJI: But…I don’t want to struggle.

R.GIRL: Okay…fair enough…but come on, Kenji, you’re being kidnapped!

KENJI: If I think that Megumi’s dead and my parents hate me, why would I care? …Excepting the fact that CREEPY BOY is taking me, of course.

SOUJIROU: *smile*

R.GIRL: Putting aside your unfathomable terror of the most adorable villain ever…good point. Fine, go willingly. Actually, I think it’s better that way.

KENJI: *smug smile*


KAORU: Oh, give me a break! I have to end yet another chapter with a fake-cliffhanger, screaming the cliched « NOOOO!!!! » as I think that a co-protagonist just died?

R.GIRL: Uh…yes?

SAITOU: *disgusted sigh* Scroll down a bit. Don’t you think the line « It’s been months » ought to go right at the beginning of a chapter break? You’re just going to confuse your readers again.

R.GIRL: Oh. Right. Except for the fact that it’ll make Chapter 2 EVEN FREAKING LONGER, that’s actually a good idea. Thank you, Saitou!

SAITOU: Get away from me.

R.GIRL: Okay.

KENJI: By the way, how long have I been taking kendo lessons, if I’m able to score a hit on Mr. Band-Aids?

R.GIRL: How should I know? You’re supposed to be the prodigy.

KENJI: You just don’t want to do research. Lazy.

R.GIRL: Shut up! It’s fanfiction, I already invest enough time as it is!

KENJI: Lazy, lazy, lazy….

R.GIRL: Argh!

Chapter 3

SAITOU: Blah blah blah, vagueness.

KENSHIN: And now I read your mind.

They bow and part ways.

KAORU: What? What?! Hey, what the heck just went on in this scene?!

R.GIRL: Don’t worry, it becomes evident within a few pages.

KAORU: You’re such a horrible writer!

R.girl collapses with shame.

R.GIRL: It’s true, it’s so true….

Kenshin cannot think of anything reassuring to say, so Soujirou smiles cutely and pats R.girl comfortingly on the back.

KENJI: When is my next scene? I’m bored.

R.GIRL: Um, now.


KAGAMI (to R.girl): Why do you keep stealing us from Ayashi no Ceres to do minor character deaths in your fics?

R.GIRL: Because I kind of hate your home universe.

KAGAMI: …Fair enough. *dies*


MEGUMI: What? You want me to make up a two-person Takani household now?! Why didn’t you plan this out beforehand?!

R.GIRL: Because Kenji didn’t spring it on me ’til after we started filming! Now hurry, pretend that you two have lived here together for a while!

They scramble around hanging up photos of Kenji, etc., until the Himuras arrive.

DOORBELL: Ding-dong!



AYAME & SUZUME: Where’s the doggy?

R.GIRL: Hush, I haven’t gotten the idea for him yet. Now, Major Exposition Time!

EVERYONE: *sigh*

KENJI: Am I in this scene?


MEGUMI: Well, I do have this photo album full of pictures of you.

KENJI: Score! *improvs posing for them all*

R.GIRL: Man, I should just let you write the fic.

KENJI: You mean I’m not?

R.GIRL: *glare*

KENSHIN: Oro, is this one supposed to be angry with Megumi-dono for having professional as well as personal motivations for adopting Kenji? It makes sense, but this one feels slightly OOC.

R.GIRL: Uh…I don’t know…let’s film it both ways and decide later.


KENJI: This time I am B4tt0usa1. Ph34r me.

TOMOE (ghosting up behind him): There’s no one to impress except me, you know.



KENJI (admiringly): I didn’t even hear you coming. Teach me how to do that, woman!

TOMOE: *grave look*

KENJI: I mean, Oneesama.

TOMOE: All right.