❯ life less ordinary – the begining ( Chapter 1 )
A life less ordinary!
Hello my name is rose brown and I am 16 and this is my story of the events in my life that made me who I am today, I don’t remember much about my pass because since I can remember I have always block out my worsted memories until they were nothing more than a bad dream.
Ill take you to the beginning where it all started well the pieces I remember,
As soon as I was old enough to understand the situation at hand I was the perfect child I would always help out around the house even though I had two older sisters and one older brother I was always left with their mess to clear up by the time I was six I had mastered the washing machine, ironing and the vacuum cleaner and even learned how to cook and change beds so yea you could say I was a little mature for my age, most children had not master how too make their own lunches, but then I again I wasn’t every one else.
My mum was a single parent with a lot on her mind in total she had five children and worked as many hours as god gave her. We never had that much money because there was the rent to pay and the arsenicals we needed but even though we never had much money If we had a school trip or a club we wanted to go to mum would always find the money some how, just so we wouldn’t miss out.
Mum would work from 5.30 am to 12-3am every day seven days a week I would always sit down stairs and wait for her to come home, even through she gave us every thing we wanted in life she would still walk in to a full blown argument between my older brother and my oldest sister usually throwing things at each other no matter what it was i.e. letter openers and cups. So she would open the door then just turn around and walk out and go for a walk , this was years of agreements and she just couldn’t take it any more I would sit in the dogs basket with the dog and just close my eyes and ears and pretend that I wasn’t their until it had all gone away.
Ok this is probably a good place to tell you why my mum was so depressed.
She never had a good life even from birth well you could just say my nana was not that maternal she had no idea how to raise a child and my grandpa well he had served in a war and all I know was one night he was working some one dropped a lantin in the horses barn and it court fire and he tired his best to get all the horses and men out alive. I don’t know much else part from when he got home he could never get over it then he got in to a really bad depression in those days there wasn’t much to help those kinds of people, so he spent most of his days shouting and nana would never help him she lived in a pretend world where the was nothing wrong even when he was lying in bed screaming in his dreams nana never once asked him what was wrong.
When mum was about 18 she had Nai and nana wouldn’t help her out so she moved out in to a tiny one room flat so the social workers said they would look after Nai for a couple of days so she could get some rest, but when my turned her back they went passed the red taped and put Nai in to adoption and the fry’s took her after that mum spent the next 13 years in and out of court trying to get her back , one time she had a chance to get her back as long as nana would keep an I on them ,but nana said she had too much too deal with that. So you can imagine my mum has never forgiven her.
13 years later mum received a letter saying that they made a mistake, but by then it was too late.
When I was eight I was walking to girl brigades (a club) Katie my friend call me across the road and I ran across, not knowing what was to come, it was poring with rain and my hood covered my face so I ran across not being able to see I was hit by a car, my sister said I looked like a teddy bear flipping in the air the women turn Swiss fully in to a shop window, it was very lucky because she worked in the army and she could control a car. But what if she wasn’t she would have run me over and I would be no more.
All I remember is lying in the road and my mum crying beside me.
Sorry about the skipping of years but these are the memories that have stuck in my mind.
After years of rowing agreements and memories that forever be lost to the wind,
Elenes father took her in, which believe me made life easy but for every good thing a bad thing happens Norma started playing up and mum was near a nervous break down.
But I guess that they way life is! But I couldn’t help thinking that not every one else life was like mine!
Ok Ill start to talk about my life which made me the way I am,
At I was good with my friends but the bullies didn’t quite agree they used to name call allot as you can imagine it was school. I never thought any thing of it until one I would do what the bully wanted me to do and some other stuff I can’t remember but she laid a punch in, then a kick over and over again tears rain down my face but I managed to kick in the face that gave me enough time to slip away. I ran in to my animal shed and sat in the corner and cried while my hands where shaking as I took a drag of my cigarette
I have never really be able to let people in it fells like I’m walking around with a massive bubble around me and no one can pass through it, its just the way I am I hold people to a distance as my mum always teached me to keep a guard up because people are not what they seem and they will take you for all you got, and I guess that for me its more that I don’t wait I can’t get hurt any more. It was never clear to me the way I was but other people could see but they did not understand. I mean yea I have had boyfriends and so on but they weren’t that special I was too young to care. It never affected me then but it dose now because I don’t know how to let people let in and see the real me I walk around with a massive smile on my face and if you were too ever see me I would always be smiling but that’s not the case behind the fake smiles there’s pain and most of the time I just wont to be left alone and claw in to a corner on the other side of the plant and cry but when I do feel like letting people know how I feel I get scared and zip up and wait until I go in to my day dream world and then its no more, but I do get the courage to talk I look at my phone and go through the people on my list and I don’t know who will actually listen because they wont understand they might think I’m depressive but I am not, I do have real fun to through don’t mistake I do have a laugh just some time it can be difficult to smile when your all bottled up with pain and anger.
When I was 3months old my so call father walked out the door and I never sore him again but he always called my sister and she would brag that he called her his little princess yea him leaving hurt her, I never cared I thought it was normal not to have a father but just recently I have be wondering why didn’t he wont me? How come he left?
Why did he never call although to be right I saw him for a day when I was 6 years old me and Norma went too his house and met his new kids and new wife only Caitlin and charley are related too me and Norma. Then never saw him again until I was 15 I just on a bus and I sat one seat to the back and there was this old man his wife and two kids but what I noticed was the scull ear ring and the ripped trousers and that’s the only thing I could remember about my father then I heard a voice “phoebe” “phoebe” turned around and he was like hi sweetie how are you? Took me a few minutes to realised who it was so many things passed through my mind , so many questions but nothing came out. I wonted to know where have you been why, why didn’t you just phone , did you know I’m taking my exams did you know I had nine pets , did you know……… then my line of thought changed to well he probably does not care, what do I care I don’t need him.
But for years there was always like an emptiness that needed to be filled but I didn’t know by what that’s when it got bad I started drinking and smoking and not being me but that didn’t help and mum found out and from then on she kept telling me that I was I a liar but I hadn’t even lied then the thing that broke me she told me she hated me and that I meant nothing to her, my world crashed down around me I sat there crying
She never said that before and she had always told me that she was proud of me and that I was the one that made it all worth it, even through its better now I don’t think it will be the same again.