Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Following The Sun Songfic ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Author’s Note: I don’t own Saiyuki and make no claims on it. All rights remain with the creator(s). The song used here is called Following The Sun and is by the band Enigma. All rights for the song remain with the creator(s) and I make no claims on it.
Following The SunSongfic
Following the sun,
To find the one
Who’s giving you the wings to fly
Following the sun,
The golden one
Losing sense for space and time
I stared at the back of Sanzo’s head and watched the sunlight turn his hair brilliant gold. I wanted to touch it to see if it’d be warm like sunshine, but didn’t want to have my fingers blown off. Sanzo was pretty twitchy about people touching him, but sometimes, if I caught him in the right mood, he’d let me. I sighed softly and gripped my forearms to keep from reaching out to rub a piece of his hair between my fingers.
We were following the sun. Hakkai said it was in the direction we needed to go and better than any compass to follow. I think he was just saying that `cause we were lost again, but kept my mouth shut. The last time Hakkai had given me that creepy-scary smile of his for saying so and that look of his made my stomach churn and go icy cold. He said we needed to find the one pass through the mountains that would shave at least two weeks off our time.
I’d said it would’ve saved us a shitload of time if we could have taken some of those flying dragons Kougaiji had the last time we had a fight. That would’ve been way cool and given us the wings to just fly all the way to India. Sanzo had beaned me in the head with his fan for suggesting that and I don’t even know why. I thought it was a pretty good idea.
But, I was following my personal sun, my golden one, so whatever Sanzo said, went. Gojyo said I was stupid for doing whatever Sanzo said, but he didn’t get it. What was between me and Sanzo was special. If I was real calm and quiet and concentrated hard, I could lose my sense of space and time and float along mentally with Sanzo. It didn’t happen a lot, `cause it was hard to concentrate like that and not get interrupted, but it made me feel good and peaceful when I did manage to do it.
I’m following the sun
To find the one….
Can you feel the waves of life?
Can you hear the sigh of love?
Do you believe in it?
The landscape we were driving through was super boring and I knew better than to wake Gojyo up to start a fight right now even if that would have livened stuff up a little. My ears were still ringing from the last hard whack of Sanzo’s fan when I’d complained of being hungry for like the billionth time and Hakkai had given me his I’m-Going-To-Have-Fun-Ripping-You-Into-Tiny-Bloody-Pieces-If-You-Don’t-Shut -Up-Right-Now look. I sighed again and closed my eyes, deciding that I might as well see if I could slide into that special place with Sanzo for a little while.
I almost gave myself a headache from concentrating so hard to follow my sun and find that one place of peace. I took slow, deep breaths and focused harder than ever on Sanzo in my head and suddenly, I was there. He always felt warm and… not happy exactly. Kinda… content, like a lazy summer day when the crickets hummed and it felt like time slowed to a crawl just so you could have as much fun as possible. I smiled when I dropped into that special place we shared. It was a place I felt connected even stronger to Sanzo and that could only be a good thing.
Sanzo might look like he never gave a shit about anything, but I knew better. He’s a Sanzo monk and he understood stuff about life, the universe and everything. He just didn’t brag about it. He could feel the waves of life all around us. I’d caught him letting a butterfly perch on his finger for over an hour when I knew he had shit to do. One time, I followed him when he marched off into the forest out of the blue and saw him put a baby bird back in its nest and whisper a prayer to it to keep it safe. It was stuff like that that made me love Sanzo so much it sometimes hurt. Sanzo cared lots. He just didn’t like people to see it. Sanzo didn’t like to kill either. He did it because he had no other choice.
I did wonder sometimes if Sanzo knew I was there in his head or wherever it was we shared this connection. Did he know but pretend not to? Could he hear my little sighs of love? Did he believe in it or did he think it was just some stupid kid crush that I had on him for saving me from that mountain? I knew what I felt was real, but I didn’t know how to make Sanzo see that. I didn’t know if he’d want to see that and that made me sad.
Everybody needed to be loved and to love people back. That’s what made you alive instead of just existing. Sanzo was really smart, but I wasn’t sure if he knew that.
Following the sun,
Just for the one
`Til you’ll find the door you thought….
Following the sun,
Like everyone
Just searching for a sign of hope
So, I was following my sun and just waiting for the one chance to tell him how I felt without him freaking out. That was a lot harder than it sounded. There were times when I nearly had to bite my tongue in half to keep from just saying what I felt right to his face. Doing something that stupid would get me shot faster than I could blink. I needed to wait patiently `til I found the right door I thought would lead to his heart. I sighed softly.
Waiting sucked.
I was following my sun, like everyone, although we each had different reasons for what we were doing and why we were following Sanzo. I was just searching for a sign of hope every time I got to this special place that we shared. Hope that Sanzo was starting to see me as more than that know-nothing kid he’d rescued from the mountain. Hope that maybe he’d want me to love him so he could love me back. Not in that loving a really good friend kinda way either. Really loving. Like touching and kissing and sex and being so close to a person that you couldn’t tell where they started and you stopped. I wanted that with Sanzo. I wanted that so bad, it sometimes scared me and if it scared me, it’d probably terrify Sanzo. I didn’t want to chase Sanzo away with what I felt so I kept my big mouth shut and waited.
I’m following the sun
To find the one….
Have a look up to the sky
See the billion stars above
`Cos maybe on one of them
You’ll spend your further life….
I was jolted out of that warm, happy place when Jeep bounced over some rut in the path Hakkai called a road. I blinked and looked around in confusion. It was night time. Wow! It’d been late afternoon when I went off into my mental side trip. I’d never been out of it that long before. Something always ended up yanking me away or pushing me out of that special place way before that much time passed.
“I’m simply following the sun to find the one route I was assured was through the mountain. The condition of the road or the time it takes to travel is completely out of my control, Sanzo,” Hakkai said in a tight voice.
“We’re lost and you just don’t want to admit it. I’m down to my last two smokes for fucks sake and I’m not smoking any of those shit-ass ones the kappa has,” Sanzo growled.
“Who said I’d give you any? I’m running low myself,” Gojyo snapped.
“If I say you’re going to give me one of your shitty smokes, you’re going to give me one of your shitty smokes,” Sanzo snarled.
“You and what fucking army is gonna make me?” Gojyo flipped Sanzo the finger and lit one of his cigarettes, blowing the smoke at Sanzo.
Sanzo whipped around, his gun out and cocked at Gojyo’s head. Hakkai made a frustrated noise in his throat and slammed on the brakes, throwing all of us forward. Sanzo cursed and his gun when spinning out of his hand, landing under the dash. Gojyo’s head collided with Hakkai’s and my nose ended up smushed painfully into Sanzo’s shoulder.
“We’re camping here for the night. Everybody out,” Hakkai ordered in an icy voice.
Tension simmered in the air. I was kinda glad that I’d missed whatever started them fighting while I was in that warm, happy place with Sanzo’s thoughts. I didn’t like it when everybody started snapping and snarling at each other. It felt like there was going to be some kind of really big fight in the next few seconds if somebody didn’t do something. I latched onto the first thing I could think of and hoped it worked.
“Hey guys, have a look up to the sky. See the billions of stars above? Isn’t it pretty? We never see that many stars when we stay in town. Do you think there might be people on those planets? You said that some of the stars aren’t really stars but planets right, Hakkai? `Cos maybe on one of them you’ll spend your further life. That’d be pretty neat, wouldn’t it? Having a whole `nother life on a different planet, I mean. Maybe we’d have tails or wings or other cool stuff like that. That’d be awesome, right?”
Everybody turned to look at me. I made my eyes go as big and innocent as I could and prayed really, really hard that this worked. I didn’t want any of my friends hurting each other. I really didn’t want Sanzo doing something I knew would make his heart hurt later on. Hakkai was the first to relax. He nodded and gave me a real smile for the first time all day. Gojyo snorted softly and ruffled my hair like I was a little kid before getting out of the jeep. Sanzo stared at me hard.
“I know what you were doing, Goku,” he said quietly.
Uh oh. This could either be kinda good or very bad. He might be talking about my stopping the fight or wandering around in our special place. I didn’t think he was going to shoot me, but you never knew for sure with Sanzo until it actually happened.
“Thank you,” Sanzo said, trailing the backs of his fingers over my cheek.
I stared after Sanzo in surprise as he left the jeep and stalked to Gojyo, demanding a cigarette. Maybe Sanzo did know how I felt. Maybe he felt something for me, too. A tiny flutter of hope started in my chest.
**Of course I know how you feel, idiot. It’s like an endless, low level background mantra in my head. I know you’re not a kid. You’re an adult and when we finish this stupid fucking mission, we’ll talk about our relationship and where we go from there. Fair enough?**
I nodded and grinned so hard my face hurt. I jumped out of the jeep and did a little happy dance. I wanted to run to Sanzo and hug him hard, but I thought he’d whack me with his fan if I did that. That was okay though. I’d waited this long for Sanzo to notice me as more than a kid just following his sun everywhere. I could wait a little longer to get what I really wanted now that I knew I could have it.