❯ Confessions – Ceres ( Chapter 1 )
Confessions: Part One
Disclaimer: All Ayashi no Ceres and Ceres: A Celestial Legend characters and plot belongs to Yuu Watase.
I loathe you.
More than anything, I loathe you. With all my existence. Because, I love you. With all my heart.
Didn’t you know? I would’ve told you, but where I come from men are just seeds. They produce the seed that will bear me a child. You were one of them. But, my feelings were completely different with you than they were with anyone else. With you, there was always a lovely throb in my chest every time you smiled at me, looked at me, glanced at me. All the others were just things; things to use, then lose. They were nothing like you. Never like you.
All the flowers you presented me with; I cherished them for as long as I could.
Your downfall was my fault.
If I hadn’t given you some of my power, if I hadn’t drove you to the brink of insanity, if I had never existed…
I wonder what you’re family would have looked like. More beautiful children? An ordinary wife? Love? That was something our marriage seemed to not have. Love… it seems like a strange concept.
Do you think I’ve ever felt love before? Never. At least not until I had met you.
I loved you with all my heart, my body, my soul. But, why? Why did you hit my child? Our child? Didn’t you feel any burning in your chest? Or was it my fault for being so beautiful that you declared to never let any steal me away, not even our own child?
I wish you could hold me, Mikagi.
And I’m sorry, but I had to. Those scars… do you still bear them? Your death tore me apart, even though I was the one who had ended your mortal life. I never realized how short it could be…
Those earrings that are the same as my mana… I still have them. Remember that spot you loved to touch? The one on the small of my back? That’s where it is. Could you… could you, maybe, touch me there? Just a little, so I can remember what it felt like to be loved by you.
And I’m sorry, but I should have known. How could you not be possessive of me? I admit that I’m beautiful, intelligent, powerful, and immortal. But do you think I would have left you if another man waltzed by? At the time, if it had been over ten years in the past: probably. Then: never. Now: maybe.
Did you have to lock me away? I know you were doing all of that for me… but that wasn’t you. I didn’t want you to do that… I wanted you: the person you were before. Before my power, before our children, before me…
Why! Damn you! Why! You destroyed yourself just so that I’d stay? Don’t you see? I would’ve stayed anyway! I hate you! I really hate you! I do! I do!
I would do anything for you. Anything.
Don’t you understand? I loved you. More than anything in the world, I loved you.
Mikagi, let us sleep, and let Aya and Tooya be together for the time being.
And, Mikagi? I love you…
Musical Muse: Ryuusei by TiA